Decepticon and Autobot Antics
by Kallikal
Summary: Kal and the bot's are never up to any good, whether its finding a remote that controls them, or a drive gone wrong. Who knows what can happen with a twenty year old hyperactive femme? (Disclaimer: I don't own transformers, just plots and Kal and any other Oc's) ((T for language and Creative insults.
1. PUNCH BUGGIE NO PUNCH BACKS

Kal grumbled with her legs crossed and stuffed another handful of chips in her mouth, staring at the wall as KnockOut, his cherry red shinning in the med bay lamp light, moved about the Med bay. KnockOut silently sighed and turned to face her.

"You really shouldn't eat so much junk food Kal, its not healthy." He scoffed. Kal snorted and replied with a stern,

"I eat when I eat. Don't be a damn dieting council and let me be before I shove a wrench up your aft so far up where the sun don't shine. Got me?" She snapped her gaze to him. He placed his arms over his chest plate and growled, which she returned. In one swift motion, he swiped the bag from her grasp and crushed it. "...You Donkey Kong Bitch...THOSE WHERE MY CHEETOS!" She howled, standing up with a firm stance.

"Watch your mouth or you'll end up in the brig." He replied curtly, cleaning a few medical tools. He heard a low but loud growl and he turned around in time to have a wrench come in contact with his helm. He rubbed the plate and turned to her with a fierce gaze, only to find out she was gone. He furrowed his eyebrow plates and looked around frantically. Then turned on his comm.

[Knock-Out to Barricade,]-KnockOut sighed.

[What.] Barricade replied swiftly, already making his way to the air vent in the hallway. Slag it woman, this was the third time this week she did this! [Air vents?]

[Air vents.] Knock-Out confirmed. Barricade huffed and looked up at the metal vents that had a bit of a creak from her movements.

"Kal...come out...Femme this is getting old." He dead-panned. Suddenly another noise of breaking glass and rolling wheels was behind him. He swiftly turned around around to see a hover board -Kals of course. with a note attached. He plucked it off and growled impatiently as he unfolded it at least twenty times.

Barricade,

You my friend, had just been bamboozled.

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE COPPER!

Kal

Kal lightly chuckled from her newly found spot. An attic like space big enough for only humans and maybe the minicons. She relaxed and pulled out her sketchbook. All was going to plan for her to have piece and quiet. She opened it up to a page she started when she was washing Barricade and Megs. She had drawn each of their alt modes and now all that was left was inking and coloring. She stuck her tongue out lightly as she slowly inked Megatrons alt mode of a chopper.

She made a mental note that whenever he wanted her, she'd yell, "GET TO DA CHOPPA!" ...oh yes. Perfect. Now she needed one for Shockwave, Hook, and the casseticons. She calls them mini-bots because she can pick up Rumble. He's so cute sometimes! TC (Thundercracker) Snorted and laughed when she told him that. She also said that his laugh was quote 'the cutest thing ever!' which was true, it sounded really cute. He didn't comment on it though...hm.. Then she remembered why she wanted quiet in the first place, she wasn't always meant to be cheery and needed a place to let loose some of her other emotions, which is why she typically ran off into air vents or now up here.

Her thoughts ran short as pounding on the wall below her was heard. She peered over to see Barricade sliding down it, sighing. She felt kind of sorry...she promised she'd play War with him...damn a promise is a promise and she wont back down. She nodded to herself and hung her body over the ledge.

"Heya Copper!" She cheered,ignoring her alone feeling and smiled, smiling wider at his jump of fear. He glared up at her then softened as he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Where have you been!? We thought you ran off!" He huffed, anger slowly returning, she jumped on his offered hand and nuzzled his cheek plates, Barricade rolled his optics.

"M' sorry...I just wanted to be left alone for a bit.." She answered with a small voice. Barricade regretted yelling at her but as she always said 'I'm just trying to get my point across'. Barricade ran a finger down her back in comfort. "..." For once, she was silent, what was there to say? She couldn't take it, she missed being able to go out on a drive...she was isolated. She felt tears pool in her eyes. She wasn't alone, no. She was just...wanting to go and hang out...instead of being cooped up in the base.

Barricade paused when he felt her salt water tears touch his servo. He sighed once more and ran his finger to wipe them away. He knew she wanted to go out again, he knew that from reading her diary...which he also didn't know was private. He smiled slightly as a search came up with a long highway. "Kal, what do you say we go on a..drive?" She looked at him with wide eyes, no more tears falling. She smiled slightly and nodded. He transformed carefully with her in his passenger seat. She patted his dashboard.

"Thanks Cade'..." She smiled wider at the content engine starting up. As they drove by a green buggie she giggled. "Hey Cade'" She giggled. He didn't know if he liked that giggle.

"What?" He asked, a bit worried. She punched his dashboard with a 'PUNCH BUGGIE NO PUNCH BACKS!' He growled and demanded to know what the meaning of that was until he was punched again and another Punch buggie no punch backs was called. "Femme! Knock it off!"

"Sorry Cade'...but its a rule, your supposed to lightly punch someone if you see a bug," She explained, laughing at his confused tone,

" I do not see no insects femme." She rubbed his dashboard while still laughing, which confused him more. However he did kind of like the rubs, he was rather stiff as they drove down the road.

"Cade' I love ya, but nonono, the CAR bug, not an insect." She further explained. He 'ahhhhed' and looked out for anymore of them. She was going to have to pound out a dent in his dashboard if more punches are to come. He was snapped out of his concentration and almost swerved as another punch to his dashboard made him hiss a bit.

"Punch buggie no punch backs!" She cooed, laughing a lot harder. She rolled down the window and leaned on it, laughing as her hair blew all over her.

"Slaggit how'd I miss that one?" He thought to himself as the green bug was out of sight. He heard a content hum and then a sputtering 'bleh!' as her hair blew in her mouth, chuckling lightly he snapped and swerved out of the way as another punch buggie came out of sight. This one being a blue one. "Where are these all coming from?" He pondered to himself.

"Cade'...Copper whats wrong?" Kal asked worried. Ah slag, he forgot she was in here. He pulled back into the road and replied with 'I'm fine' . She didn't look to convinced until a black buggie came into view. "Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaddee~PUNCH BUGGIE NO PUNCH BACKS !" She punched his dashboard as the buggie pulled up ahead. He groaned with a growl...should have just taken her to the mall...He sighed.

This was going to be a long drive. He flinched when a line of buggies where behind him. A very long ride.


	2. HI-HO AWAY

1:Grab the Master Disaster's remote from TFA's 'Velocity' episode. Have fun making Blitzwing do whatever you want

Kal was a strange femme. That was a given. She was 1st place when it came to racing in real life, but sucked ass at Need For Speed. Maybe it was the visual thing.

Blurr however, stole her glory. Don't get her wrong, Blurr was close to her, yes she was allowed to talk to both Autobot and Decepticons as long as no trading secrets happened. Something wasn't right with Blurr though, he was...off, usually chatting in his private link but it was as if someone was controlling him.

What wasn't a given is that a remote made Blurr move, that she discovered after a face off of him and Bumble Bee. It was sort like a remote control car. How she found it while no autobot did was beyond her. This thing had a fragment in it. A very..shiny...fragment. She tried to convince both sides to let her wear it but they said 'it can hurt her' psh. Whatever. It was shiny that's all she gave a crap about. And it glowed...SLAGGIT SHE WANTED THAT ON A NECKLACE! But BLITZWING took it from her AND CRAZY MESSED UP HER BOOTIFUL HAIR! NO. . As we bring that up:

She also had a thing for revenge. And Blitzwings prank on dying her hair blue was not funny. But even though she liked it-she'd never admit that- she wanted payback. She used her whole 'innocence' to get it too.

"Blitzwing...what does this do?" She asked looking up at him with big puppy dog eyes. He eyed the remote suspiciously then, remembering it, panicked, even Hothead didn't want it in her hands.

"J-Just put it down! Don't touch that button!" Icy stammered. Kal looked at it with fake curiosity and looked back up at him with expecting eyes. "Kal, put it down!" Hothead snapped. She grinned and flipped the 'on' button.

"...But I wanna' know what it does!" She whined, sticking her tongue out the side of her mouth and grabbing the joystick. Man...she had hardly any knowledge on how to move a joystick...maybe to the left? Right? Upside down?

She wiggled it. Nothing? Why isn't it working? She wiggled it again, nothing. She furrowed her eyebrows and moved it until she heard a "PLEASE STOP!" From Blitzwing. Her head snapped up to find him dangling upside-down in mid-air. She giggled, which ended up busting in a full on laughter. "I'm going to laugh out a liver!" She choked out. Blitzwing glared until Random popped in.

"Ooo! Everyzing is upside down!" Random chided, making her laugh even more. Make it stop! She wiggled it some more and sat down by him.

"I think..I think my hearts going to burst!" She gasped, leaning on his face-plate for balance. She patted his cheek a few times to recollect herself. Hothead tried grabbing for the remote but she snatched it back and waggled her eyebrows. His optics widened and he shook his head rapidly, which only made her burst out in laughter again.

"okay! I apologize for jour hair! Please!" He pleaded, clasping his hands together in a begging motion. She raised her eyebrows...well she DID get what she wanted...but...something was missing..hmm she couldn't quite place her finger on it...Oh yeahhhhh...

"...Mmmm, if I get a piggy back ride then I miiiighhht consider~" She bargained. He nodded his head repeatedly, accepting the deal. Placing him back on the ground she put the remote in her bag and smiled up at him with wide blue eyes. She demanded a hug right then and there for forgiveness

"Alright Mz. impatient!" He huffed, going to hide his jet form on a large roof and spawning his holorform. A man in his twenties with a hat and goggles and a sexy-yes she called him sexy, she called many of the others sexy, she did not care- and red eyes. He sighed with a slight smile and accepted her hug. She gave a large grin and he lifted her up onto his shoulders.

"HI-Ho-AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~!" She yelled, loud enough to wake the neighborhood. Blitzwing chuckled in amusement. Strange Femme indeed. She was a bit more fun than the other twenty year olds he met. They all tried to make out with him instead of a piggy back ride. He didn't realize he wasn't moving until she called "I SAID- HI HO AWAAAAAAAYYYYYY~!..That's your cue Blitzy." She leaned over his head to peer at him when she said the last comment. He snapped out of his thoughts and nodded. Getting himself comfortable as she pulled off his goggles and put them over her eyes he made his way to the park. "Shit man these would be badass hunting goggles...Inferno red and OH SHIT ITS CADE'!" She squeaked at the familiar man coming towards them with an annoyed expression.

"Ve book it in tree?" He asked, looking up at her, she nodded and counted with her hands, on three they bolted away.

"RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLS-EYE!" She cheered, giggling madly. Oh yeah, this femme was more fun than the other ones. She was always like this too.

People may look at her weirdly, like who wouldn't when a woman was on a mans shoulders and a copper chasing after them? Like she gave a flying crap anyways.

"BLITZWING DON'T YOU DARE TURN ME IN! I WILL USE THE DAMN REMOTE! BLITZWING YOU ASSH-...oh hiya Cade'...miss me?" Kal's voice was heard meekly as Blitzwing shut off his holoform, dropping her on the ground. Like hell he was getting in trouble with Barricade for taking his Charge without him knowing.

Sides', it was her turn anyways.


	3. HOT AND COLD

Annie looked to her friend who managed to find the Incredible Hulk special brownies with Cade'. Today another player decided to join: Blitzwing the triple changer and they had a surprise for him.

"Barricade I need to have a word with your dealer...this shit is strong!" Annie snorted, chewing on another. Barricade simply grinned and dealt them in. Blitzwing snorted and rolled his shoulders.

"Hey Annie...ANNAIAIAIAIAIAIAAIAI!" Kal yelled, already on her forth one. Annie yelped and yelled back:

"WHAIAIAIAIAIAI!?" Kal laughed and rolled on the table, she grinned and leaped up as Megatron and Starscream rolled in.

"MEGSY! SHAKIRA! AYYEEEE!" Kal cheered as they sat down on the metal chairs. Megatron snorted and nodded, Starscream sighed and nodded as well.

"AYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEE MAN DUN LEAVE ME HANGIN!" Annie called back, crying because 1. This was some strong brownies, and 2. HER FRIEND LEFT HER HANGING. RUDE ASS.

"Oh! I feel...I don't know..hot and cold?" She grinned to her friend hoping that she would catch on. She stared at her blankly for a while then went OH!

"Do you change your mind, like a girl changes clothes?" She replied, on board with pissing the triple charger off. The others looked at eachother blankly until Kal sent them the song with her visor. They played it to themselves and snickered. Blitzwing furrowed his eyebrows in mas confusion.

"VHAT IS THE MEANING OF ZIS?!" Angry snapped. Annie nodded to Kal and she propped her hip out, arms crossed and stuck her nose in the air away from her friend.

"Well they PMS like a bitch, I would know." Barricade lost it at that one, breaking down in laughter. Megatron chuckled with Starscream with full amusement. Blitzwing was still angry but random chirped, "Ooo these girls are on the hulk!" Annie struggled to hold in her laughter as she stated the next lyric,

"They definitely over think, and speak critically," Kal nodded in agreement, and grinned with sharp teeth.

Blitzwing was stumped, while the others were laughing in there seats-save for Barricade, who was on the FLOOR laughing. He was confused.

That changed when they sang the chorus. "'Cause you're hot then you're cold!" Kal sang, Icy thought hard and then Hothead took over.

"ZAT IS NOT TRUE!" The girls giggled madly and held on to each other for a fail of a line dance. Kal falling on her ass was amusing to ALL the cons in the room, and Annie, who was in hysterics.

"You're yes then you're no!" Annie chimmed. Random clapped along, him being crazy means insults mean nothing really. Starscream-was really glad they were messing with someone else, was nearly out of his seat laughing, cards already there. They shoved another brownie and smirked each other.

"You're in then you're out!" Blitzwing had it. He was, Pissed. Off. Icy was as well. Not just Hothead. He stood up abruptly, and stormed off with an "I'M OUT OV HERE!" And Random giggled insane "They are crazier zan me!" Icy shoved his way in as they went down the hall, "perhaps Hulk was too strong,"

"BECAUSE YOUR HOT AND YOUR COLD!" The girls finished off. They took one breath and looked at each other, then laughing their asses off.

"Oh we are total bitches we know, BUT! We are the QUEEN BITCHES! WOPWOP!" Kal choked out. Climbing back on Barricades hand.

Blitzwing reluctantly came back in the room.

"AYE KATY PERRY! WELCOME BACK MAN! WE MISSED YOU!" Kal chimed, going over to hug him. Blitzwing-albiet annoyed to no end, accepted the face-plate hug, but was surprised when she kissed it. "We sorry we uhm...I don't remember exactly WHAT we did, but m' sorry, I can't say the same for Asshole Jr. Down there. But I think she is...ASSHOLE JR!" Kal called to her friend, still on his hand.

"YO! WHAT!?" Annie called back, not at all fazed by the name, she called Kal Queen Bitch. So it was cool.

"YOU SORRY FOR THAT...THING?!" Kal yelped back, shifting weight. Blitzwing smirked and ruffled her hair.

"It iz fine, at least I am not the only one," He glanced to Starscream, who was laughing still, he snapped up and glared at the triple charger, Kal and Annie followed his gaze and face palmed.

"Ohhh yeah! SHAKIRA SHAKIRA!" Kal and Annie said in fusion. "KATY PERRY AND SHAKIRA! MAN WE ARE FULL OF CELEBRITIES!" Annie drawled out.

"I WANT SOME TUTTI FUCKIN' FRUITY HERE!" Kal snapped, looking up at Barricade, who held his hands up in mock surrender. She went back to Blitzwing, "Katy Perry, tell mean old Copper that I want some Tutti fruity!" She whined.

That was still going to take some time to get used to.


	4. PROTECTION FROM JAZZ AND PROWL

"Cade'...Can I go with Jazz?!" Kal pouted up to her guardian. Cade' huffed, and ignored her. Whats so special about that slagger Barricade will never understand. Kal pouted even more at him ignoring her and nuzzled his hood. "M' just want to go for a race with him...please?" She nuzzled even more, hopefully it would convince him. She smiled as that specific sigh rang through her ears, it was a sigh that said 'you win'.

"Fine. But be back before midnight," Kal rolled her eyes and kissed the hood before patting it.

"Yeah yeah, I am twenty remember? I'll catch yah later!~" She hummed, heading outside the base to see Jazz parked in front. "Hey Jazzy!" She cheered, hugging his hood. Jazz chuckled, making his engines rumble as she got into the passenger seat.

"Hey Tiger, anythin' new wit' yah? You look..different?" He asked, noticing her dyed purple hair. Kal sighed and leaned on his dashboard, answering with annoyance.

"Rumble did this while I was asleep from the brownies, I kicked his ass to Quintessa and back!" She snapped out of her mood with a proud grin on her face. Jazz laughed at her being so proud and sighed with content. Kal was cool to hang out with, she was like a teenager but in her twenties, and he had a pang of sympathy when he found out WHY she wore her visor.

"That's great! So we have abou' two and a half hours til the race, what ya wanna do?" Jazz brought up as they passed a PT CRUISER. She gave his dashboard a good punch for that one. "OW! What was that for?!" Jazz snapped, a bit offended.

"Pt Cruiser Bruiser, sorry!" She apologized, rubbing the spot where she hit. Jazz mumbled something about 'damn earth customs' which made her giggle. "Well, for your information, I got Cade' like fifty times while out on a drive for a Punch Buggie," She grinned, Jazz chuckled and she tapped her fingers on the dashboard in thought. "Well, I mean..If you wanna' we can go to the mall or park?" She suggested, now rubbing her finger on the dashboard in a small circle unconsciously.

"Sounds-Hey! There's Prowler! What's he doin' out here? Prowler! Ya read meh?" Jazz suddenly chirped, turning on his radio.

{I was sent out here to check for something, I didn't know you where coming here as well,} Prowl replied, {I noticed someone is with you as well?} Kal smiled brightly,

"Hiya Copper!" (note: She used Copper for Prowl mostly, only calls Barricade that when at the base) She cooed, exiting as Jazz pulled to a stop. Both activated their holoforms. (I can't really describe what they look like but I can see them being hot. So lets go with that.)

"Hello Kal," He smiled faintly, still not quite used to the nickname. She turned to the mall and snickered.

"OH SHIT THAT'S MY OLD MATH TEACHER! AHAHAHH! MR. GREENE! ITS ME!" Kal yelled to her old math teacher from high school, who was stuck in a hot dog costume. He paled when he saw the cheerful woman. And actually said 'Oh shit.'. Jazz nor Prowl liked that and stepped in front of her, she seemed confused but instead hugged their necks as she got over her confusion with a bright smile on her face.

"Got somethin' to say to our babe ere'?" Jazz asked, voice low. Kal blushed at the nickname but it wasn't the first time she's heard it, many of the autobots call her that. No one tells her why though. Prowl although didn't always call her that, will if needed.

"Jazzy, Prowl, s'okay! I was the one who made his classroom a living hell!" She laughed, loving their protection of her, it was adorable and made her feel loved, even though it wasn't necessary. They chuckled at her way of telling the truth straight forward. A man behind her teacher, probably his son, winked at her from the corner of their eyes. None of them liked that, Kal was flattered, but hell to the no. Jazz threw a protective arm around her and pulled her close, She dragged Prowl with her as well, making Jazz and Kal laugh as they walked away.

"You seem to be a bit shorter..have you beenn drinking too much coffee?" Prowl asked, as she stood on her toes to lean on his shoulder. She shrugged.

"I'm not short. M' Fun sized!" She giggled, Jazz chuckled along with her and Prowl just rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." He sighed. Kal hugged him before giving him a flat tire. Then promptly running to Jazz's side. "..Was that really-"

"Yes. Yes it was." She cut him off with a snicker. Jazz shrugged as he looked to him expectantly.

"What? Ya think I can control her? She can NOT be controlled, ya know that, she sneaks out all the slaggin time!" He pointed out. True she never spends more than a few hours in a brig before finding a way out. Even a plain room with NOTHING in it, and no bobby pins or what ever.

"You bet your ass I'm sneaky," She said, smirking as he saw his beats on her shoulders. Funny, he didn't remember her reaching for them at all. "Snagged them while I ran to your side." She answered, reading his confused look. He ruffled her temporary purple hair with a grin. Prowl chuckled and sighed.

Maybe following them here for protection wasn't a bad idea at all.


	5. I MAKE THINGS GO BOOM!

It was late night, most Autobots on patrol and Kal was staying a couple nights there with Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. But the asshole Sunstreaker,or Sunshine, as she liked to call him, much to his GREATEST annoyance, literally hit her ass with his driver door when she was checking his tire pressure, even though she was kind of kicking it, but still! It was how she checked that! She was trying to help dammit! And not only that, Kal was sent to the brig for scratching his paint in return. Why did Prowl do that to her?! Oh wait...that isn't the reason, there's a whole NEW reason, She was grateful for Sides though, who broke her out and carried a bag of her paints as she asked. Though slightly confused, he complied with her request to go to Sunny's berth. Not to mention he didn't want to deal with his Brothers wrath if he gets pissed off.

"You sure we should do this? I don't want to get slagged by my brother here." Sideswipe asked Kal as she handed him a can of yellow and black paint. Kal pshhed and waved him off before turning to Sunstreakers berth once more, starting with the letters she had planned. This wasn't new to her, she's done this quite a lot. She even did it to Megatron and Optimus, which was funny as hell. But got her a few days worth of brig and when she broke out, she'd get dragged back by Rumble. That afthole.

"He's out on patrol, we'll be fine-Hey, I need you to spray it this on it," She commanded, pointing to an outline of a sunshine. Sideswipe bit his lip plate but nodded with an 'alright,' and sprayed the design with a thick,permanent yellow paint that was REALLY bright. This was going to be good. She knew the one thing he hated other than people messing with his paint, is people messing with his place where he sleeps. And with him gone, why would she pass up this chance of a lifetime?

"This..I'll admit it this is funny as slag Kal. Where'd you pick this idea from?" Finishing the circle and now drawing lines attached to it, he turned to the woman who was writing letters in bubbles with black paint, she had 'Perk' already written before she turned to him with a shit eating grin that just YELLS trouble. Every bot knew to fear that look.

"He was being a dickwaffle and hit me with his door while I was checking his tire pressure! He asked me to! I was trying to help! I'm a fraggin mechanic!" She ranted, catching her breath. Sideswipe held his hands up in mock surrender and was about to apologize on his behalf before she cut him off, "Don't worry bout' it! He's actually nice to me sometimes, but don't worry! You're still my fav twin!" She winked, patting his cheek plate, he grinned with his ego rising, damn right he was her favorite twin! she chuckled at his proud grin, leaning up against him as he turned to the door that busted open, looks like some one came home early. Too bad she was already done. "PERK UP SUNSHINE!" Was written across in funky letters, a sunshine painted under it. Ironic huh?

"Hiya Sunshine!" She grinned, no shame or fear what so ever, even as he fumed. Sideswipe flinched when he made a move for her. "Relax, you ain't the only berth I've done. You should see Ratchet and Prowls! Speaking of which-" She poked her head out the door as Sideswipe set her down. No fear as she leaned up against Sunstreakers foot pedal, which honestly surprised him.

"KAL! WHAT DID YOU DO!?" Ratchets voice screamed from down the hallway. "MY EXTRA WRENCHES! AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! BEWARE THE FLYING WRENCHES!? YOU LITTLE-!" He didn't finish, but she had a good idea what he was going to say. She looked up at Sunstreaker with a proud grin, and he grinned back.

"I'll let mine slide, only because that is the slaggin sneakiest thing ever!, what does Prowls look like?" He asked, picking her up, she held up a finger and counted up to five before a loud

"MY HANDCUFFS!? KAL!" Boomed from Prowls room. She giggled and answered,

"To Serve and send to the Brig." Sunstreaker froze then busted out in laughter, Sideswipe joined him. He patted her head lightly and choked out-

"You have learned well, young pranker,"

"You have learned well, young movie watcher." She sassed back. Sideswipe chuckled and then asked,

"Who else did you do?" She looked at him confused, "I know you did someone elses, I can see it in your eyes. Who did you do?" She grinned and pointed to Wheeljacks lab down the other hall. "What did it say?"

"Correction: What does it DO?" She held up her finger, waiting for Wheeljack to sit on his berth just a tinnnyyy bit. Grinning as a loud BOOM was heard. "I rigged it to explode with paint on his berth, spelling something." She explained.

"What does it say?" Sunstreaker questioned, recovering from laughter.

"I DO NOT MAKE ALL THINGS GO BOOM!" Wheeljack shrieked from down the hall. She looked up at them with big innocent eyes, then belched out in laughter.

"Holy slag." The twins said together. Kal smirked and replied:

"I make things go BOOM!"


	6. TEAM PEETA VS GALE

"No." Barricade stated. Kal pouted and clung to his armor like it was her lifeline, she even pulled up her visor to give him huge puppy dog eyes. It was his weak spot.

"B-But...I just wanted..to hang out with you..." She whimpered, sniffling loudly. She wanted to take him to see Catching Fire, but for god sake the first one was a disaster to Barricades eyes! Why would he see the second one?!

"We 'hang out' all the time here." He said simply. Yeah he was crumbling from the intense pout face, but not this time! He HATED those 'movies' she fawns over. Well, most of them, Fast and Furious along with Batman series were good. But the Hunger Games? Not his line of fire.

"...Cade'...I just...I don't like being cooped up! I haven't been to the movie theater since the last Hunger Games!" She sniffled louder, nuzzling his face plates, making him turn away a bit. This femme was going to be the death of him, he was for sure on that.

"Whats the femme whining about now?" Starscream grumbled from his spot across from Barricade and Kal. Kal pouted at him and ran to him, clinging to him. "What." He growled, not liking her cling.

"...Will you take me to see Catching Fire?! PLEASEEE?" She whined. Starscream shook his head.

"Go ask Soundwave, I'm sure he'd take you to your annoying femme films. I've got SIC business to attend to." He pried her off him and walked off, she smiled at the idea.

"Kay! BYE SHAKIRA!"She called before running to Soundwaves office. Soundwave looked up from his screens, but didn't turn. "Soundwave~" She cooed climbing up on the control panel.

"Kal: Want something. Soundwave is sure of it." How can everyone read her so easily?! She pushed that thought aside and sat on his open servo.

"Will you go with me to Catching Fire...the others wont..." She whimpered sadly. Soundwave didn't know what Catching Fire was, and was admittedly- a bit curious. He also saw how distressed the femme looked, she was losing her tan from being cooped up in a base. He didn't want to leave work...but..

"Soundwave: Accepts offer, will get Barricade to monitor." she perked up at him, loving the idea. She placed her tiny palm in his large servo and beamed at him.

"Thank you!" She cheered. "You've still got your radio scanned right? I can just carry you until you can use your holoform and I guess we will have Cade' drop us off. Barricade's being an assmuncher though." She giggled, showing her white shiny teeth to him. He sighed, there was no other way in his sights. He stood up and transformed into his human sized blue radio, Kal picked him up gently and held him carefully, but tightly.

"Movie: Time?" Soundwave asked, radio shaking a bit from his monotone voice. She clicked her tongue- a annoying habit- in thought.

"Well, if we go now then we can get the vip seats, and I really don't give a shit what people think, you're sitting in my lap, because I always cling to something watching movies. Don't know why but Barricade told me from last movie we went to," a barely audible sigh was heard from the radio, she smacked it lightly, "Hey...don't be rude.." She pouted. She walked to the front and comm'd Barricade. Who reluctantly drove them to the theater. She patted his hood and thanked him.

"Whatever." He grumbled. She shrugged and walked in the theater. People gave her odd stares but she flipped them off with a smirk as she paid for her ticket. She walked to the empty bathroom and set him down.

"Alright, you still got your 'form?" She asked him, he responded by fizzling infront of her. She hugged him tightly and giggled at his raised eyebrow. "Well I never did hug you as thanks!" She replied, picking his alt mode back up, she tugged him into the theater and smiled at his absorbing gaze.

"First time here." He replied coyly. She nodded with a shrug and pulled him up to the top row and in the middle. People filled the row as the movie played.

~~~AFTER MOVIE

"Oh come on! How can you still be team Peeta! He's a wuss!" Kal argued, locking an arm with Soundwaves holoform. Soundwave thought of his reasons before answering:

"He gave his life to protect the one called Katniss." Kal stared at him. That..that kind of summarized most of the movie...and defeated her argument. Well looks like she'd have to resort to the weak reasons.

"But Gales hotter." She counter-argued as Barricade pulled up. Soundwave stared at her with a 'are you shitting me?' look before fizzling out as she climbed in. She lightly smacked the radio again. "What?! Its true...dem abs doe." She nodded to herself agreeing with her own reason. Barricade was about to say something before Soundwave cut in:

"Large amout of abs: Most likely for steroid useage." The car and passengers went silent. Barricade silently prayed for Soundwave before all hell broke loose. You don't argue with her reasons, he learned that the hard way.

"OH YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!" Kal snapped, turning the radio to face her. She narrowed her eyes and Soundwave wanted to flinch.

"...Studies: Prove fact." He replied meekly. She glared at him for a moment longer before pulling her hoodie over him, hiding him from their view. Her white Jazz shirt-which Jazz LOVED, and said she looked good in,- peeking out.

"I can't even look at you right now." She hissed, turning on Barricades radio, even as Soundwave replied,

"Kal: Has no real reason for Team Gale."

Shit was about to go down after that one.


	7. A What Type of Bond?

=Kal was injured and should be resting from the drugs used to knock her out. Key word: SHOULD. Not even the toughest drug is keeping her from climbing into the vents. It keeps her from thinking straight though. Like marrying a ugly spider.

KnockOut could hear her stomping around in the vents and its giving him a pit of a processor ache. Barricade, was off to the side, watching her carefully to keep her from falling out of the vents or hurting herself more, but watching with curiosity as well.

"NOOO COME BACK HERE HUBBY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU!" Kal drawled, actually panicking, many thanks to KnockOuts anesthetics, which were the wooooo to woah. The spider didn't react other to go away more. This human was scaring the shit out of the poor thing.

"What is she doing? Shouldn't she be out cold?" Barricade grumbled, not liking the femmes high pitched whine. KnockOut sighed with a shrug as if 'probably'.

"WHAT?! YOU WANT A DIVORCE!? WELL FINE YOU INSECTASHIT!" She howled, a loud CLASH! was heard as her foot came down on the ugly spider. Barricade furrowed his eyebrow plates and looked to KnockOut for answers. KnockOut clicked and sighed.

"She got out, crawled into the vents, found a spider, married it. Now they are getting a divorce apparently." He explained with a dead pan tone as she poked her head out of the vents with tear filled eyes,

"Slag, get Annie," Barricade commanded. Not five minutes later was Kal being cooed to as she took the divorce with the bug hard while on the doctor dose. Annie wanted to burst out in laughter but knew that would make it worse. Kal sniffled, "What are you crying about? It was a bug for Primus sake!" He stated, bewildered by her actions.

"I NEVER JUDGED YOU ON WHO YOU LIKED!" She wrenched, sobbing even harder, Annie shot him a dirty glare, and he backed off in mock surrender.

"Do you even know what marriage in earth customs is?" KnockOut asked, not knowing either. Barricade shook his head, but had an idea it was a bond of sorts. He just didn't know how DEEP the bond was.

"If its really that harsh on you then I'll marry you," Barricade sighed, Annie blinked rapidly, then almost laughed as she realized he had no idea what marriage was. She didn't want to correct him either after seeing Kals face light up like a Christmas tree.

"R-really?!" She asked, stunned by the offer. "You would?! CADEY I KNEW YOU LOVED ME!" She cheered, hugging his leg. He grumbled a bit before sighing.

"Yes yes, what ever," She smiled wider, remembering something.

"Remember those bands that attach to the finger to send a virus, and how I got rid of the virus but they still attach?" Annie asked, well Kal mostly did the virus work but she wouldn't remember in her state. Barricade nodded, not sure where this is going, "Well there was a prototype as well, no virus but did the same thing, only the other can take off your band, those should be the bands!" She summed up. He was about to say no but Kal looked up at him with those damn puppy eyes as if saying 'you love me right?'.

"..I swear to Primus if this effects my alt mode.." Annie shook her head. "Fine..." He finally drawled out. KnockOut, who looked up marriage on the web while they were talking, wanted to burst out in full laughter at the situation.

"YAY!" Kal and Annie smiled. Kal winked to Annie and she giggled, getting the memo, she also winked to KnockOut, who had done a scan to see if the drugs were working well enough to help her heal and not feel pain. Funny thing was, that stuff ran its cycle after her 'divorce' now she was just acting.

And knew what she was getting Cade' into as well. KnockOut WAS going to stop it, but this was too good to miss.

"Here they are!" Annie smiled, rolling the larger one to Barricade and giving the smaller one to Kal, who looked at it with wide eyes while Cade looked like at it as if something were going to pop out and kill him. Seeing no threat he put it on the finger Annie told him too. Giving it a test pull, Annie was relieved when the attach microbes worked. Kals did the same to her finger as well.

"What did I get myself into?" Barricade asked Knockout, who was about to burst out in laughter. He chirped something in Cybertronian and Barricade complied, he was too stunned for words when he realized it was a COMITMENT. "Oh Primus.." He groaned, looking down at his charge, who was happily inspecting the rings. He also took a scan as KnockOut suggested and nearly hissed with a sigh as he realized he doubted her acting skills.

The drug was out of her systems. And she knew this the moment she 'regained' her thoughts.

"Femme...I swear you are more trouble than your worth..." He sighed, swiping up the unsuspecting woman. She squeaked in surprise and giggled with a content reply:

"But you love me anyways."

"Primus."

"I hear no denying~!"

This was going to be a long orn. Not to mention his priceless reaction when Kal told him to look up Wife and Husband. He scowled at her, but she giggled louder and was NEVER letting that go.

Yeah, this was going to be a long orn.


	8. Cat Like Reflexes

Barricade always wondered why humans say they had the reflexes of a cat...they weren't even close to being related to cats, why would they have their traits? It confused him even more. He leaned on his folded down hands and narrowed his eyes at nothing. It was his thinking face.

" I didn't even know you could think that hard, with that tiny processor and all." Kal grinned, climbing her way to the top of the table. Barricade rolled his optics and flicked at her. Kal who was only sort of expecting it, lurched away with violently fast reflexes. Barricade, who was still on the whole 'cat reflexes' was intrigued by this. With a plan in mind he poked at her again, making her duck away and narrow her eyes. "Okay asshole I get it, that was mean. I knew the first one was coming but that one was just plain ass rude." She snapped, not liking the finger now in her gut. He rubbed his finger lightly, and she stopped glaring instantly.

"I know. That's why I did it again, because you expected it." He replied easily, still absentmindedly rubbing his finger, she nuzzled it light and chuckled softly.

"...today's a slow ass day." She commented, relaxed at the fingers movements. Barricade nodded and stopped stroking, instead doing it to her back, she flinched a bit by the new contact but sighed contently.

Humans do have SOME type of reflexes...he still did not see why they included cats. Do cats even have reflexes THAT good?

"And your thinking really hard. Whats up Cader'? She asked, leaning back in his finger. He shrugged and answered,

"You know that human expression you use..that 'cat reflex' thing. I don't understand that," Kal giggled softly so he would not hear him. Unfortunately, he did, "what?"

"Aw nothing Cade' its just really cute to see you trying to understand humans, you look like your pouting every time you have your think face on." She giggled. Barricade huffed and poked her again, she wrapped her arms around his fingers in mock apology. He accepted it anyways and let his finger rub up and down, as if she were a cat. She didn't mind though, it felt rather good at this early in the morning.

Damn Rumble and Frenzy woke her up at 5 A.M. She usually sleeps until 9 on a good day and 12 if she says 'fuck it I'm going back to bed'.

"I don't understand how they relate human reflexes to cat reflexes." He shrugged, "I don't even know if cats HAVE reflexes THAT good."

"Well...hm. Cats are very agile, and they are really fast unless your Garfield, then your a fat tabby cat with a habit for eating lasagna. Other than that, most are pretty fast. I...its too early to think that deep. I'd rather not go and think like that," She sighed, stretching out. Today's plan was simple: Get food and help Knock Out with tune ups. She'd come to actually like the red sports car. He was rather nice to talk to and for some reason, she thought he sounded like someone familiar on TV...what was that TV show she watched as a kid...Fairy odd...something family? No...Parents! That was it. She thought he sounded like . Not that she never told him, oh she's told him SO many times and he still doesn't understand it. Nor did he bother to look it up.

"So you're going to be the one tuning me up today? Or is Hook?" He flinched a bit at that last bit but was relieved when she replied,

"Nah, I am," She grinned. "Mind taking me there?" Barricade simply nodded and lifted her up, she relaxed in his servo, leaning against his slightly curled fingers, even pushing a few back for comfort.

She was picky. They have all come to learn that.

"Ah there's my helper, since your here Barricade might as well get yours done now." Knock Out smiled lightly in greeting as they entered the med bay, Kal replied with a smile and Barricade just huffed and made his way to the large Transformer sized table and Barricade paused before setting her down...maybe this would also be the time to test another theory.

"Do cats land on all fours?" Barricade asked randomly. Kal thought hard about it before she was dumped on the table and as a reflex, angled herself so she landed in a push up position, on her feet and hands. "I guess that answers my question about human and cat reflexes." Barricade chuckled. Knock Out was going to join before she grabbed a drill. Barricade thought it was just a tool to use for tuning up..but Knock Out knew better as she held it up.

"Hey Cade. Guess where this is going!" She revved it up for show once and Barricade leaned away, preferring Hook right now.

Cats may have reflexes like a whiz, and may be considered mean and feisty...but this was one feisty femme that would not mind disassembling a bot or two.


	9. 20 Questions With a Prize

Many bots knew Kal had absolutely NO patience in her entire being. Many, unfortunately, were still learning. Least she was stuck with Soundwave, one EVERYONE thought could withstand her constant noise. But even he had a breaking point.

* * *

tap. tap-tap. tap. tap-tap. Primus why did he allow her to sit on his work area. First it was mimicking the buttons by freezing whenever one blinked, that was fine, least she was quiet. She was bored of doing that eventually and started tapping on them, just to see how Soundwave would react, she'd get so close to pushing it all the way, then when he glared at her-through the mask, she'd retract.

"Desist." his mellow tone sighed, he loved the woman, well as much as he could, she was close to everyone except Shockwave. She didn't like him for some reason BEYOND their knowledge, however she got on every ones grills at some point.

"Desist." Ah, now she was mocking him. Terrific, he could use that to his advantage. He sat calmly without a peep which she mimicked, looking up in case he moved. He didn't, but maybe if she just-"Kal: staring." ...well just make her look like a stalker why don't you?

"Whats that?" She asked, poking a small covered hole on his side, purple armor shifting to see what she was looking at.

"Purpose: electric wiring." ...she pointed to another he KNEW she knew, she was just messing with him. She huffed when he realized this and moved to lean against his chassis. Lucky for her the desk went there and he was like a walking heater, for some reason it was always cold as hell here. She snuggled to him and sighed.

Finally she was leaving him to work...slag, he jinxed himself.

"Why do you wear a mask?" She asked innocently, to which he responded by tensing, knowing she'd never drop the subject until he provided a satisfactory answer he relaxed.

"Purpose: Accident coverage from the lab." He replied, his tone saying 'that's all I'm saying'. She nodded with an 'ohh'

"...So does your position in here have advantages. I'd like to see what happens when Knock Out and Break Down are done for the day...Female instincts says something happens. Also I saw red on Break Down. In STREAKS." She grinned, looking through security DVD's, then paused. "...HOLY SHIT!" She screeched, snatching a tape up. Soundwave looked at her curiously. "..Megatron and Starscream done it?!" She appalled. Soundwave reached to snatch the DVD back but she ducked, slag he was supposed to keep that from others, Starscream AND Megatrons orders, but Megatron didn't really care, just didn't want a bitchy Starscream to deal with, everyone knew he was a pervert. She swatted at his fingers, "No fuck off! MINEEEE!" She hissed, running to her laptop. Soundwave wrapped his feeler around her in an attempt to pry her off it, but instead she snuggled up to the tentacle and lounged in the middle of the wrap as if it were a couch.

Well, she already knew it exist...can't do anymore harm. Soundwave figured, least she is quiet.

"EEE! I KNEW HE LIKED SHAKIRA!" She squeaked, noticing the familiar 'Hips Don't Lie' playing as they..done it. Soundwave had yet to see this footage, and peeked over curiously. "Soundwave."

"What?"

"You so have to find the irony in this right?" She chuckled, leaning next to his leaned over face mask. Soundwave had to agree, that was pretty ironic. "S' there any ones of KO and BD?" She questioned, nearly drooling over the footage.

She always knew they'd be furious during this time. And kinky.

"Affirmative, however not compatible with your laptop." He replied, returning to his work. She groaned and took out her I phone...well her 20% battery I phone...she looked up to Soundwave, who was too engrossed with his work to notice her pull out a charging cable from the bag she had with her, and connecting it to him on his arm, smiling in victory when 20% went to 50% instantly. And he was a hot spot. Score!

Soundwave paused, not use to the cable in him, it wasn't draining or anything...just a bit annoying. "Cable: purpose?" He asked, looking down at the white cable plugged into his arm.

"Iphone charger, the outlets are too far away, tell me, have you heard of Hollywood Undead?" Soundwave shook his head, and made the mistake of asking why? She grinned and played 'dead bite' using him as a stereo. "Kind of your theme song...next to Slenderman I mean. Shit man, you are like Slenderman in a way. Hey I got a question that's been bugging me about you." She tapped her finger on her chin in thought, and for once he thought it was an honest question.

"...what?" He asked hesitantly. Kal grinned and waved his hesitance off as she climbed to snuggle in his elbow nook, pointing to the tapes.

"...Have you ever watched them for pleasure purposes?" Soundwave face palmed...but...damn, he couldn't say it was all that pleasure, more like...investing his time to know the others and their compatibility rates. By the silence Kal knew ALL her answers. " I didn't peg you for a kink...but..pft...ohhhh god..." She struggled to contain her laughter and Soundwave stared at her, well from her knowledge of him she had a hunch he was.

"Soundwave: Not as kinky as Starscream and Lord Megatron." He stated proudly. Kal let a loud laugh rip out, and Soundwave chuckled lightly in amusement as she waved her arms about.

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BURN!" Kal chimed like the two animals on 'Regular Show'. Soundwave shook his head with amusement and return to his work. "I think..I think your the best mech ever!" She giggled, meaning it with full humor and truth, as she leaned back into the nook, to which Soundwave wrapped his arm around her for comfort.

"Soundwave: Superior, other bots: Inferior."

"Damn you and your sarcasticness. Your becoming sassier than Knock Out...but hes got that..FLARE." She giggled, flinging her hand flat, choking back a laugh. "He also does that hip thing."

"Hip thing?" He asked, releasing her as she demanded to stand, once she did she turned to face him with 'sass' written all over her.

Kal smacked her lips and snapped her fingers in a z formation, left hip cocked out and hand placed on it with an arc.

"He did that to you?" Soundwave, on the verge of laughing as much as he could, he gave her a light chuckle however.

"Honey, when DOESN'T he do that?"

"In all honesty: Always does that. Especially when alone with Breakdown after hours." Kal looked up at him in shock as he relayed that information to her, grinning behind his face mask with no shame for saying that out loud, even when a 'I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SOUNDWAVE!' came from a flashing red mech who was just coming in to give information, hip cocked out with annoyance. Kal looked back to Soundwave, confirming what they already knew.

"True dat."


	10. Cards

"Go fish."

"BlackJack." Barricade sighed, setting down a twenty one set.

"What the fuck game are you playing?" Kal asked confused. Barricade shrugged and threw down a couple cards. Starscream looked between the two with a full on 'wtf' face.

"Four three's" Barricade replied. Kal shook her head disbelief on her face.

"Bullshit!" She chuckled. "Wait...War! My cards higher than yours! BURN BITCH!" Kal laughed, taking the cards. "I has two ace's, thats twenty. Higher than twelve."

"What in Primus name are you playing?" Starscream grumbled. Kal smirked up at him as he took a seat behind her. She leaned against his arm as Barricade scratched his helm, comprehending the question. Before Barricade answered Kal sighed and took the question,

"I WAS playing go fish, he WAS playing Blackjack, then it turned to Bullshit, now its War... I think?" Kal answered, looking up at the cop mech, he shrugged. Starscream shuttered his optics in mass confusion. None of these earth games made any sense to him anymore. Poker was fine, but what is Go Fish? And the others? Well he knew War, sort of. He felt the need to learn these pathetic games was well...pathetic, guess that didn't stop the 'oh wonderful leader' now did it?

"Why not settle on one game?" Starscream countered. Kal looked at Barricade, Barricade looked right back. Why didn't they think of that?

"Why didn't we think of that?" Barricade chuckled, speaking what was on their thoughts, and setting his cards down. Kal looked up at Starscream with a shrug.

"I dunno', want to play with us? Please?" She pleaded. Starscream sighed with a low grumble and nodded, he had already finished his work and guard duty was becoming a pain in his aft. Might as well pass the time. And he can play with the others and beat the scrap out of them.

"What game are we playing?" Starscream looked at the spread cards on the table, was this that game Go Fish Rumble told him about? As if reading his mind Kal shook her head.

"Wench. Its like Go fish, only you have to get the same color to count it as a pair. Like two reds, two blacks, thats two points. Makes it harder, the extra card is whats known as a Joker and can be used to get more points when added to any set or, you can steal any card of the others hand, but not the pile, and you can only ask for the number and they can give you any color, it doesn't have to match your color, like if you ask for a three, but you need a black, you can end up with a red three because you can't tell them the color you need. Kay?" Kal instructed, "Oh! and you draw five instead of seven,"

"That sounds easy enough. Ah, and before we play however, Megatron has requested to see you Kal." Starscream reminded. Kal huffed and waved him off, "In a couple hours." He added on, Primus knows why he needs her but he just does. What. Ever.

"Dammit. I was hoping to just hang around." She sighed dealing the cards.

"I can arange that." Barricade grinned, pointing at pipes linked above them. She gave him a look and shuddered.

"Unless you want barf on your paint, I don't recommend that. Hell my STOMACH and HEAD don't recomment that. They say 'fuck that noise!'." She gagged, sighing comfortably and turned to look up at Starscream, "Three?" Starscrem shook his head. "Dammit Shakira I thought you were helping me.." Starscream snorted,

"Hardly, you're just one of the few I tolerate because you're a good mechanic, and don't smudge my paint. I never said I was going to help you." She pouted and Barricade looked to Kal, with a sly grin.

"Three?" He cooed with pure victory written on his face-plate.

"Dammit Cade'."


End file.
